But recently, I realized I had a story I wanted to tell. And today, the house was quiet. George was having breakfast with a friend. I had cleaned house yesterday, so nothing was pressing there. I was tired of Good Morning America, and I don't have a walking routine, so I was free to try and write.
Now, I know a blog is meant to be a daily thing. Mine probably won't ever be that. But I'm posting today, and we will see about tomorrow. If anyone is there, thanks for listening.
Get on Board!
The moments to which I refer are the spiritual ones, and to my mind’s eye, they lie like stepping stones throughout my life. They are moments when the Holy Spirit spoke to me after a season of specific prayer, or in the midst of difficult circumstances, and even during periods of great joy.
I had already been thinking about the power of testimonies when God once again spoke to me in a most surprising way. Let me share my moment with you.
My husband and I are recent retirees; and as such, we had planned to do some traveling. While on a beach trip with old college friends, we rather spontaneously booked a river cruise through France. How exciting! Well, not for me. While I have made several trips abroad, I have always fought the fear of flying. Add the circumstances of our world today, and I was headed down a path to panic as the trip grew near. Each time the trip came up in conversation I would (half joking, half serious), remind my husband and anyone listening that, “I might back out”.
“I know, I know,” my husband would respond each time, but I knew he wasn’t taking me seriously. As the fear grew, so did my lack of sleep, and the intensity of my prayers. Friends would attempt to comfort and encourage me with, “God’s in control,” “When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go.” However, I believed you could tempt fate, and God also allows us to make choices which most definitely have consequences.
Still, a week away from departure, I began to pack. I carefully placed my chosen items on the guest bed and finally pulled the suitcases from the storage closet. But inside my head, I was becoming more certain that I would not be able to board that plane. Still I prayed.
Finally, after an especially sleepless night, and three days before our departure I asked my husband to sit down and talk.
“George,” I said, “I really need to talk to you about this trip. I know I’ve been telling you I might back out. You act like you understand, but I feel like you really don’t believe me. I honestly don’t think I can go. I know we stand to lose a lot of money, but that really doesn’t matter to me.”
“I hear what you’re saying,” he replied in his most I took Psychology 101 voice. “I think you are over-reacting (not from Psychology 101) and will enjoy yourself once you get there.”
The psychology worked. I felt heard and agreed to continue packing, with the understanding that he didn’t take that as a signal that I was definitely going. With only two nights left, George began to pack. (I had to throw that in.) Needless to say, we wanted a day with our grandbaby before we left. So, the next day Cooper arrived. Cooper was two and a half years old and, of course, pure delight. After playing with his Thomas trains all morning, we placed him in his highchair for lunch. I sat across from him and chatted with him as he ate. Conversation revolved around the steam engines and the Island of Sodor. (You have to know Thomas the Train to understand that last sentence.) Suddenly, out of the blue, Cooper said, “Do not be afraid, for the Lord Your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9.” Yes, he said it and sited the verse. I turned to George.
“Did you hear what he just said?” I asked.
George nodded.
“Can you say it again, Cooper?” I asked.
“Do not be afraid, for the Lord Your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9,” he repeated.
Stunned, George and I glanced at each other.
“Well, I guess…I’m going,” I said.
“I think you are,” George replied.
In no time, our conversation was back to Diesel, Victor, and Rosie-all friends of Thomas the train, but the memory of that moment did not leave me. It spoke to me on so many levels. I was strengthened in my belief that God hears our prayers, and I was humbled to be reminded that God can use every one of us, including this precious child.
I did question though. Can you believe that! Why had God waited so long to respond to my cries? Packing would have been so much more fun if I had been excited instead of afraid. You see, I was going, but I was still afraid. I watched the news daily and it wasn’t the least bit comforting. But I knew I was going.
I woke up on our departure day with mixed feelings. God had told me not to be afraid, and I was trying. We loaded the car and returned to the house for a final check. Coffee pot off. Timers set. We were ready to go.
As we pulled away from the house, I looked back to make sure the garage door had shut. And then we were off. We were on our way to France. And, I was excited! My fears were replaced with joyful anticipation.
The trip was wonderful. It was everything we could have hoped for. And now, looking back, I think I know why God waited to free me of my fears. I had to commit. Once I truly gave my fears to Him, he took them.
Sadly, I must admit, I will probably need a refresher course. One would think that moment would settle it once and for all, but I am a fearful person and will continue to ask: Should I go on that mission trip? Should I volunteer at that shelter in the inner city? Should I invite that person to church? Should I put this piece on my blog? The difference now is that I have Joshua 1:9 emblazoned on my heart and in my mind. God (and Cooper) did that!
9 Have I not commanded you? Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
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