It's the Little Things

I'm basically a happy person. I like to laugh, even giggle. For variety I can throw in an occasional tee-hee. As I've aged (as in fine wine) I've been known to emit the occasional, unladylike snort. I say all of this to let you know, I'm not looking for reasons to be grumpy. And yet, there are a few "little things" that rub me the wrong way.

Take for instance that small, advertising sticker they place almost daily on the front page of my newspaper. I mean, I wake up feeling rested. The sun is shining and the air is crisp. The birds are chirping in the trees, and a bunny hops across my path as I go to retrieve the morning paper. Life is good, idyllic even, and then WHAM! There it is! That stupid little sticker. It doesn't belong there. And I can tell you for sure, I'm not buying whatever it's advertising. Of course, I must remove it, which also removes two or three words in the headline. President Obama Declares #@$^$ Declares what? That sounds important. I need to know. Teachers Receive %^#$@ Receive what? Oh, never mind that one. Teachers never receive anything. Earthquake Predicted in (^$#@^$%, TN. What? An earthquake? Do I need to prepare? I mean, what are they thinking? What makes it even worse, is that I might want to save that paper for my grandkids. The headline was historic (teachers really did receive something) and now it's ruined.

But, I rally. That sticker can't keep me down for long. Laugh, giggle, tee-hee, and WHAM! I'm out shopping, at my favorite clothing store, and my sharp shopper's signaling device hones in on a sale rack. 30% off . . . with the super saver coupon from the Sunday paper. And there it is, another "little thing" that irritates me. Why can't they just put the darn thing on sale. I hate clipping coupons. The only thing I hate worse than clipping them is carrying them around in my purse. All that clutter. And you have to keep up with the expiration dates. Well actually, that's not true. The expiration date is always ... yesterday.

Still, I'm upbeat. Life could always be worse. So, I'm laughing, giggling, tee-heeing, and WHAM! I've just returned from the grocery store. Spring is in the air and it seems like a nice evening to grill. I've purchased two steaks, and a package of four baking potatoes. Once again it's a sticker thing...strategically placed over the fatty part of the steak. The one visible steak looks perfect. And it's the same with the baked potatoes. The three I can see are perfectly shaped, eyeless, and smooth, but the one under the sticker...not so much. OK, you say, it's a "little thing," a marketing technique, but it gets on my last nerve.

But, I'm better than that. That steak isn't fatty, it's marbleized. And one bad potato doesn't spoil the whole bunch, so I fire up the grill. I fire up the grill. The grill won't fire up. The tank is empty.