"Well, What Do You Know?"

For most, "Well, what do you know!" isn't really a question. It's an exclamatory statement one uses to express surprise when something previously unknown has suddenly become clear. "Well, what do you know! That square peg really won't fit into that round hole." or, "Well, what do you know! He really is allergic to shellfish (Oops!)." However, if you are a teacher, like me; and it's two weeks before your district's state standardized testing "window", this well worn phrase takes on a whole new meaning. And if you've been keeping up with the news, you know that the stakes are higher than ever before.

So, we'll be asking each of our students what they know. It will be in the form of a test booklet, ("Mrs. Schuh, are we going to do this whole book?") with a separate answer sheet for selecting and marking multiple choice responses. ("Mrs. Schuh, something is wrong with my answer sheet. I have two more questions to answer and no more circles left.") Did I mention these tests would be timed?

Most assuredly, I want my students to do well, and I believe they will. Admittedly, I do not want to be classified as an "ineffective" teacher when the scores return and my evaluation is completed. But, what do you know! Children don't always take things as seriously as adults. Most of them will work hard and give their very best, some will suffer anxiety and obsess over each answer, others will rush through and play with their fingers for the remaining 58 minutes. Some things are out of my control. So I've learned, it's good to have a sense of humor. The following poem is my attempt at that.

TCAP Testing

TCAP tests are finally through,
And if they've taken a toll on you,
You're not the only one who feels that way.
Try half the kids in Tennessee.
If some questions left you in the dark,
Fill in this circle 0 with a heavy mark.
Did you finish with time to spare?
That was your chance to sit and stare;
Count the holes in a ceiling tile,
Gaze out the window for a little while.
Did you see dots before your eyes?
I connected mine for a real surprise!
Heaven forbid, if you wrote in your book,
That would get you a dirty look.
And when they said, "This test is through,"
There was always another one still to do.
Don't they know enough's enough?
I could simply have told them, "I know this stuff."


Note: Line fo-uh requires a hea-uh-vy Suh-thern ac-ce-uhnt to ri-uhm. Practice makes perfect.