The girls with whom I teach (grammar is important) are a great bunch. We work well together and laugh a lot. Tired, stressed, overworked, and weary, we needed one more thing on our plate. But, almost all teachers, or any worth their salt, have a bit of theatrics in them. You might even say we like center stage. So, my poetry writing got the best of me, and with a few suggestions here and there, I wrote We Bad: The 5th Grade Teacher Rap.
Any minute now the doorbell will ring. For one night, we will set aside the papers to grade, forego making that Chapter 3 Social Studies Test, and get our silly on. Tonight, the Schuh household will go "gangsta.". There's the doorbell. Gotta go. To be continued...
They came. We practiced. We conquered, Dawg. And today we performed. The competition was fierce, but we "represented."
All: We bad, we bad
We 5th grade teachers are bad
We make kids study
Read with a buddy
And then assign you math
And make you read a graph
And tell you not to laugh
‘Cause we be bad
Teacher #1: I tell you just last week
A kid got outta his seat
He said he had to go
But I said “No!”
He cried, “E-mer-gen-cee,”
And I said ” Listen to me
I’m teachin’ class right now
You’ll have to wait.”
All: He had to wait, He had to wait
‘Cause she be bad, B-A-D bad
Teacher #2: Some days we all give tests
I make mine harder than the rest
So kids will learn their stuff
Sometimes I’m gruff
If they come unprepared
They’ll end up really scared
Some even scream and yelp
And beg for help
Because I’m bad, B-A-D bad
All: Oh yeah, they’ll scream and yelp
And beg their friends for help
‘Cause she be bad, B-A-D bad
Teacher #3: A kid forgot his book
And when I gave him “the look”
The poor kid shivered and shook
And then he cried
I said he’d have to stay in
He said, “No recess again?”
And I said “Yes.”
Because I’m bad
All: She’s really bad
Have you seen her get mad?
Teacher #4: I remember just last week
A student wanted to speak
He thought he’d raise his hand
While the teacher was talkin’
I didn’t like it one bit
And threw a hissy-fit
Next thing he knew
That student was walkin’
Down to the office
The principal’s office
Because I’m bad, B-A-D Bad
All: We bad, We bad
We 5th grade teachers are bad
We make kids study
Read with a buddy
Because we’re bad
Teacher #5: Last week some kid got sick
His mucous was yellow and thick
Nurse Robyn sent him home
And he missed some work
Just sayin’ when he came back
Make-up work was piled in a stack
‘Bout gave’em a heart attack
It was due at noon
All: It was due at noon?
Teacher #5: It was due at noon.
All: Because we’re bad, B-A-D bad
Teacher #6: I remember the other day
When my class went out to play
Some students had to stay
In the homework room
They tried to make an excuse
And I said, “It’s no use.”
‘Cause homework has to be done
Before there’s fun
All: She said no how, no way
You can’t go out to play
They’ll be no fun today
‘Til your work is done
Because I'm bad, B-A-D BAD
We bad, we bad
We 5th grade teachers are bad
We make kids study
Read with a buddy
And then assign you math
And make you read a graph
And tell you not to laugh
‘Cause we be bad
We make kids study
Read with a buddy
‘Cause we be bad
B-B-B-B BAD
‘Cause we be bad
B-B-B-B BAD
WORD
